I can't go a day without seeing a Neutrogena commercial or a Proactiv billboard telling me that if my face isn't completely blemish free, I'm going to die alone and never experience true happiness. Granted, that's kind of accurate, but still, step off bro!
Zits suck. I went through adolesence relatively unscathed in the acne department, but I think it showed God's justice and balance because I already looked like this:
But now, at the age of 26, the occasional little zit shows up like "WHERE'S THE PUBERTY PARTY?!" and I'm all like "NO! You're 13 years late, Zit bro!" It's the worst. This little sucker showed up on my neck yesterday and yes, I understand it happens to everyone, but still, I didn't invite him and he kinda hurts.
I'm pretty sure these one-man-sneak-attack zit appearances at my age are worse than the breakouts when you're young. At least then, everyone expects it. It's like me and sports...
("Ohhh this explains the title."-You)
When I played baseball in 5th grade I could chill out in left field, pick the grass and play with my cup all day and no one gave a crap. I barely remember anything about playing that year except for the team pool party. But no one cared because I was young and that's what they expect, like a pimpley face. Now, I'm playing Men's softball in a town league with a bunch of friends and some older guys, and GOD FORBID a well hit grounder gets by me! It's like death stare central! So nerve wracking. That's how I feel when I get one random zit. It's like "Yeah, you make a good effort and you're a clean person, but come on bro, you're 26 with a zit. No one likes you." SUCKS. SO SO BAD. Get off me zit. I don't need you all up in my dermis.
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| NO! YOU MAY NOT ASK A QUESTION BABY LION! |
Ok fine, you can use the restroom. Don't forget to take the pass.
