I Bought a Stuffed Duck. His name is Duck.

That's Duck! On the right. Not the dog, but the duck. I'm a father kinda! Two weeks ago I was heading up to Toronto to play some music with some cool guys. We all decided to stop at a grocery store the night before and pick up food, drinks, and snacks to save money on the trip. Instead, I dropped $22 on this duck, like an idiot. I found him abandoned in the home goods section, aisles and aisles away from all his other stuffed Easter buddies. I couldn't just leave him!!! HE NEEDED ME! So, I bought him, and when I told the elderly cashier lady I was in my mid-twenties she looked at me in disgust and asked if I was sick in the head. CLEARLY she has no heart, like this guy:

Anyway, I love Duck, and he loves me, and he's basically got swag on swag on swag. So much duck swag. Let me give you the stats:

• Barking/Quacking: Never
• Food Costs: $0
• Vet Costs: $0
• Poops: Rarely 
• Cuddleability: 1037% (I don't know what that means but it feels accurate)

Basically, Duck is the man, and I love his squishy duck face. Best pet ever. I'm a freakin' baby child and I don't even care. Not even a little.

LOOK AT THIS FACE! So much love.