I'm back! Back in action. KAPOW. Like an old cartoon you enjoyed as a kid, remade into a big-budget Michael Bay film, sans explosions, or for our Spanish readers, "sans explosions," because I don't speak Spanish. Let's kick it.
We all know some basic girl who is constantly drowning your newsfeed with pictures of a good looking dude holding a good looking girl with a quote giving you advice on how to be a "real man," advice you totally didn't ask for. Why is she doing this? Because her ex was a scumbag, she's not over him, and she's being passive aggressive. So there's that. Then 1,000 other basic white girls put down their PSLs and lace up their Ugg boots...or...puff their puff balls on their Ugg boots...whatever weird accessory they have, idk. ANYWAY. They all just share and like each other's pictures and are all "omg this is so true. I wish SOMEBODY would read this" or "<3 this" (which I choose to read as "Less than three this" because math jokes are funny.
So yeah, that's annoying. You know who's NOT diving into the bowels of the Internet to find your Pinterest board because he wants a picture of lilacs to tell him how to be a better guy? YOUR SCUMBAG EX BOYFRIEND. Obviously. So you all get a zero in Marketing 101 for being awful at appealing to your target demographic. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Goose Egg, or literally this goose's egg.
In short, your quotes are dumb and they don't work. Want a guy to be a real man? Maybe don't just sit there being his awesome girlfriend that bends over backwards for him while he treats you like hot garbage. Maybe say "Hey you're not nice. This is over k thx bye." Maybe that will be more effective. Maybe. Just maybe.
Love you all. It's good to be back. Pumpkin Guinea Pig.
This made me giggle. From someone who is divorcing a scumbag... a "perfectly romantic man" isn't necessary to be happy together. Most girls just don't figure that out until it's too late.. or ever really. Bravo ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha well I'm glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteI love that you type the way that you speak. Kills me. With the exception of the use of the term "basic" in reference to human beings, female or not, this is hilarious. Social media is terribly interesting and infuriating and entertaining, but I think it's so reflective of our idols and insecurities. Imma challenge you to see that girl's soul and encourage her in the gospel because no amount of standing up for herself is going to make her understand her worth. She may feel empowered, but she needs more than that. I think you get it, Dean. I also feel like everyone who ever worked for me is in some way my responsibility and somehow I have the right to say things that are crazy to them every once in a while. Kinda like a crazy Mom. I know I'm delusional but I hope you hear the Holy Spirit and not me :) <3 ya! ;)
ReplyDeleteYour input is always valued Lauren! Haha Not crazy at all. Only used the "basic" term because it's a popular buzz now. I swear (and I think you know) I'm more kind and encouraging in person. The blog is to let my snark out. But I always appreciate a legit challenge! Always room to grow. Hope you're doing amazing.
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