Mandy Moore...why don't you love me :(

Yup, there she is in all her stunning glory. Not only is she beyond adorable, but she has the voice OF AN ANGEL. I always thought she was cute, and her songs were catchy, but one fateful day a female friend "forced" me to watch A Walk To Remember. That night, we fell in love. Not me and the female friend, me and Mandy Moore. Ok maybe just me, but if Mandy was there she would have felt it too.



"CANNNN YOU FEEEEL THE LOVEEEE TONIGHT"-Elton

"Oh Dean I love you so much."-Mandy
"And I Love you too Nala...I mean Mandy"-Me


Some of you are thinking "Dean, you're being ridiculous. She doesn't even know you exist and even if she did, she wouldn't love you.", and although I might say i agree with you, if were being 100% honest, there is a small part of me that thinks IF we had met and IF she gave me a chance, I could possibly make something happen. Yeah, for real.

Sounds ridiculous, but I think we all do that. You look at your favorite celebrity and because their publicist has done an excellent job making the celebrity appear to us the way they want them to look, we fall for them. We think "that person is what I need, therefore I'm probably what they need too". You know, kinda like "if A=B, then B=A". Makes sense.

I think what it comes down to is we all spend a lot of time trying to figure out what we "deserve" in a significant other and we live our life with our checklist seeing how people compare to our "ideal girl/guy". Maybe we'd all be better living life becoming the best person we're capable of being instead of looking for the" best" girl/guy we can find. Heck, maybe when we're with someone we should be trying to be what THEY deserve instead of wondering if they deserve you. I mean, they're a child of God just like you, so who are we to decide who "deserves" us.

                                       "AW SNAP DAWG YOU JUST GOT SERVED!!!!"


This is not me being judgmental, this is me realizing all of this for my own life and passing on some insight. So yeah, I just got served too. By myself. Not sure how B2K would feel about that, but hey, it happened. Let's just be more humble and stop thinking we're so awesome and instead accept that we're flawed humans who should just love each other unconditionally like Jesus did, whether romantically or not.

I wish I could quit you...Music

"I wish I could quit you."


I've never seen the above movie. I promise. But everyone knows this line. I'm not sure what the exact story line is for Brokeback Mountain, but I know Jarhead and The Joker are two gay cowboys who would rather be straight cowboys because they have families and responsibilities that don't line up with the "gay cowboy" lifestyle.

Music and I have a similar relationship. I'm not sure which gay cowboy I am, but I'll pick the one who played The Joker because I'm assuming he's the manlier, less gay one. (Just go with it.)

Music is the reason I'm almost 25 and have a year left until I get my Bachelor's degree. Music is the reason I drive a 2001 Mitsubishi Galant that is slowly killing itself and finding new ways to not work or annoy me. Music is the reason I worked at Subway from when I was 17-21. Music is the reason I had to spend a stupid amount of time and money on an expedited password.

I tried to "quit" music by leaving Connecticut, getting rid of my connections/distractions and just make school my #1 priority. FAIL. After being in Virginia for about a year and a half, I spend about 20-30 hours a week rehearsing/recording/playing music in some kind of capacity (not counting rocking out alone in my room).

There has always been a part of me that wishes I never picked up an instrument and just went to college right out of high school, finished my degree in 4 years, and were already a few years into my career. I'd be on my way to the "American Dream" of the beautiful wife, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, dog named Fido, and all that other "adult" stuff.

But I also have a part of me that is beyond grateful for what music has given to me. Music is the reason I got to record a CD with my band Palaris and tour with our friends After the Sirens. Music is why i got to play back-to-back nights at The Hard Rock Cafe in Nashville with Ryan Baker. Music is the reason I got to play Canadian Music Festival with Paul Davidson in Toronto. Music is the reason I got to open for artists like Ryan Cabrera, The Myriad, Lovedrug and Everyday Sunday. Music is the reason I got to have dinner with someone who'd produced David Bowie and Celine Dion. Music is the reason I get to play guitar at Brentwood Church here in Lynchburg, VA.

I could go on and on, but the point is, although I sometimes think music has made my life harder, it's also given me amazing opportunities that some people only dream of. God gave me my ability to use it for Him, and has also allowed me to reap my own benefits from it. I'm lucky. Insanely lucky. So although quitting music gets tempting, it's not gonna happen, and who knows where it will take me next. In conclusion, here's a cute baby giraffe.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Oh canada

OHHHHHH CANADAAAAA.... ok that's all I know of their national anthem, and to be honest, that's probably all I'll know until I die. It's not very catchy and in the 3 days I've been here no one as has asked me to sing it for them. But anyway, I'm in Canada. It's crazy. I assumed the Great White North would just be a lesser, more sucky version of the states with a lot of pale blonde people oot and aboot (nice). Some of that is accurate, but Toronto is quite possibly the coolest city I've ever been in, and this is coming from a guy who grew up within 2 hours of NYC and Boston Boston and NYC (better). It has the most open-minded music scene ever and it creates the coolest community of musicians I've ever seen.

 I got to eat with the President of Sennheiser Canada, an independent Marketer for Sennheiser who's also written 3 books (about as many as I've read in my life) and a Producer who told us his favorite artists to work with were David Bowie and Celine Dion. Pretty unreal. Also, when I looked at the prices on the menu I almost had a heart attack until I realized they were treating us. Absolutely insane. But not only were these big, important people, but they were just awesome, fun people to hang out with, despite their titles and accolades. Also, Jean, the President of Sennheiser, reminds me of Gerard Butler. Not sure why. Might be the accent? But in short, Canada has been great. Paul Davidson will be playing a stripped solo show tonight and all these big people I mentioned in this blog will probably be sitting with me while we watch him. Amazing. I feel insanely blessed that music has gotten me here and brought me to this place in my life. I might be a little behind on the typical American dream of the wife, 2.5 kids, and house with a white picket fence, but man, my life is cool, and my passion and talent with music has gotten me opportunities I never would have had otherwise. God is good, and beyond good to me. I could not ask for more...

"I COULD NOT ASK FOR MORE THAN THIS TIME TOGETHER, COULD NOT ASK FOR MORE THAN THIS TIME WITH YOU!!!"

Ok shut up Edwin McCain. This trip has been amazing, my life is awesome, and Canada doesn't suck, not matter what South Park says.