I'm Officially an Old Man

Yup, that's me. Maybe not literally, but that's how I currently see myself. Yes, I'm only 25, but I've noticed a few things about the way I handle my life that prove I am, in fact, an old geezer.

1. My Clothes
I've recently had friends give me some fashion advice along the lines of:

"You should wear skinny jeans instead of slim fit or boot cut."
"You should try fitted hats instead of regular curved-brim baseball hats."
"You should wear some kind of shoe besides Converse."

Although I know this is all good, solid fashion advice that will keep me up to date with today's trends, I DO NOT GIVE A CRAP. I couldn't be more set in my ways than I am now in regards to my clothes. I will be wearing slim fit (NOT skinny) jeans, Converse All Stars, and a t shirt until the day I die (unless I'm in the office, of course) and on the rare day I wear a hat it will be my black Boston Red Sox hat, facing forward, with a curved brim, because I have a small head and New Era fitted hats look dumb on me. So yeah, THAT makes me an old man.

2. My Music
I've recently become a big Spotify user, and it's shown me this: even with nearly every song ever written at my disposal, I'd rather listen to songs I grew up listening too. When it's beautiful outside and I need to roll down the windows and have a sing-a-long, "Cute Without the 'E'" by Taking Back Sunday will ALWAYS be my go to, until I die. My kids will know the words to that song.

"But there's so many new artists coming out!"

Don't care. I've actually said the words "Music when I was younger was better." Yeah, how geezer-ish is THAT?! Super geezer.

3. My Sense of Humor
People keep telling me I have a "Dad" sense of humor. Why? Because I tell dumb jokes, knowing they're dumb, and walk away laughing out loud even though no one else thinks it's funny. My Dad does that. I do that. For example:

GET IT?! HE COULDN'T FIND THE TIME BECAUSE HIS WATCH WAS MISSING!!!! BAHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA ok I'm done. Yeah, I'm old.

So yeah, I'm an old man now and I don't care, which proves even more that I'm an old man. GROSS. It's only a matter of time before I start calling kids whippersnappers and telling them about "the good ol' days." God help me. CUTE ANIMAL.

Nickelback Is Everything I Hate About Music

Realistically this picture makes my case without having to use words, but I'm going to go ahead and write this blog anyway. Nickelback is the worst band ever. If you don't believe me, go to http://isnickelbacktheworstbandever.tumblr.com/ for proof. But if that's not enough, I'll provide a few key points on why they're awful and need to go away.

1. Throaty Vocals

Nickelback, along with their other bro-rock comrades like Godsmack, Seether, etc., sing with this deep, rough, throaty kind of style. It's as annoying as a 5 year old trying to get your attention to show you "a cool trick" which usually ends up being something dumb like slapping themself in the face or yelling "poopie!" and running away. Pretty awful. Maybe it's the "tough guy" way to sing, but it also makes me want to punch a kitten. 

2. It. All. Sounds. The. Same

Nickelback's breakout single "How You Remind Me" came out in 2001, 10 years ago. At the time I loved it, but I was also listening to Limp Bizkit then so clearly I was an idiot. (Sidenote: I will still rock out to "Rollin'" if it comes on. HARD.) But seriously, they sound EXACTLY like they did ten years ago. They found a formula that people eat up and makes them money and refuse to branch away from that. The most recent song I heard by them sounded like it could be off their first album. Terrible.

3. Power Stance

For those of you who don't know what the "power stance" is, it's this.

I don't care how many albums you've sold, you're not allowed to shove your junk in my face like that. Stop it. The "power stance" is supposed to let the crowd know how much you rock, but really it just says "I'm a tool bag."

4. That song "Rock Star" is so stupid.

It's a song by people living like rockstars basically telling everyone else they're dumb for wanting to be rockstars. Stupid.

5.  The Hair

No thank you, wannabe blonde Jesus. 

I hate Nickelback. Not as people, because I don't know them, but as a band, they need to stop. Now. PLEASE. Cue sad puppy.

"Why won't Nickelback stop making music? :'("

I wish I could quit you...Music

"I wish I could quit you."


I've never seen the above movie. I promise. But everyone knows this line. I'm not sure what the exact story line is for Brokeback Mountain, but I know Jarhead and The Joker are two gay cowboys who would rather be straight cowboys because they have families and responsibilities that don't line up with the "gay cowboy" lifestyle.

Music and I have a similar relationship. I'm not sure which gay cowboy I am, but I'll pick the one who played The Joker because I'm assuming he's the manlier, less gay one. (Just go with it.)

Music is the reason I'm almost 25 and have a year left until I get my Bachelor's degree. Music is the reason I drive a 2001 Mitsubishi Galant that is slowly killing itself and finding new ways to not work or annoy me. Music is the reason I worked at Subway from when I was 17-21. Music is the reason I had to spend a stupid amount of time and money on an expedited password.

I tried to "quit" music by leaving Connecticut, getting rid of my connections/distractions and just make school my #1 priority. FAIL. After being in Virginia for about a year and a half, I spend about 20-30 hours a week rehearsing/recording/playing music in some kind of capacity (not counting rocking out alone in my room).

There has always been a part of me that wishes I never picked up an instrument and just went to college right out of high school, finished my degree in 4 years, and were already a few years into my career. I'd be on my way to the "American Dream" of the beautiful wife, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, dog named Fido, and all that other "adult" stuff.

But I also have a part of me that is beyond grateful for what music has given to me. Music is the reason I got to record a CD with my band Palaris and tour with our friends After the Sirens. Music is why i got to play back-to-back nights at The Hard Rock Cafe in Nashville with Ryan Baker. Music is the reason I got to play Canadian Music Festival with Paul Davidson in Toronto. Music is the reason I got to open for artists like Ryan Cabrera, The Myriad, Lovedrug and Everyday Sunday. Music is the reason I got to have dinner with someone who'd produced David Bowie and Celine Dion. Music is the reason I get to play guitar at Brentwood Church here in Lynchburg, VA.

I could go on and on, but the point is, although I sometimes think music has made my life harder, it's also given me amazing opportunities that some people only dream of. God gave me my ability to use it for Him, and has also allowed me to reap my own benefits from it. I'm lucky. Insanely lucky. So although quitting music gets tempting, it's not gonna happen, and who knows where it will take me next. In conclusion, here's a cute baby giraffe.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW