Nickelback Is Everything I Hate About Music

Realistically this picture makes my case without having to use words, but I'm going to go ahead and write this blog anyway. Nickelback is the worst band ever. If you don't believe me, go to http://isnickelbacktheworstbandever.tumblr.com/ for proof. But if that's not enough, I'll provide a few key points on why they're awful and need to go away.

1. Throaty Vocals

Nickelback, along with their other bro-rock comrades like Godsmack, Seether, etc., sing with this deep, rough, throaty kind of style. It's as annoying as a 5 year old trying to get your attention to show you "a cool trick" which usually ends up being something dumb like slapping themself in the face or yelling "poopie!" and running away. Pretty awful. Maybe it's the "tough guy" way to sing, but it also makes me want to punch a kitten. 

2. It. All. Sounds. The. Same

Nickelback's breakout single "How You Remind Me" came out in 2001, 10 years ago. At the time I loved it, but I was also listening to Limp Bizkit then so clearly I was an idiot. (Sidenote: I will still rock out to "Rollin'" if it comes on. HARD.) But seriously, they sound EXACTLY like they did ten years ago. They found a formula that people eat up and makes them money and refuse to branch away from that. The most recent song I heard by them sounded like it could be off their first album. Terrible.

3. Power Stance

For those of you who don't know what the "power stance" is, it's this.

I don't care how many albums you've sold, you're not allowed to shove your junk in my face like that. Stop it. The "power stance" is supposed to let the crowd know how much you rock, but really it just says "I'm a tool bag."

4. That song "Rock Star" is so stupid.

It's a song by people living like rockstars basically telling everyone else they're dumb for wanting to be rockstars. Stupid.

5.  The Hair

No thank you, wannabe blonde Jesus. 

I hate Nickelback. Not as people, because I don't know them, but as a band, they need to stop. Now. PLEASE. Cue sad puppy.

"Why won't Nickelback stop making music? :'("