What your Converse All Stars say about you

**WARNING: THIS BLOG ENTRY IS FULL OF IRRATIONAL STEREOTYPES**


Converse All Stars, also known as "Chuck Taylors" are the greatest shoe ever. They are a timeless classic of footwear and come in a variety of colors and styles to fully express yourself. They also offer little to know support for your foot and after a long day of walking in them, self-amputation starts to feel like a fantastic idea. Let's see your Reebok Zigtech's do THAT.

Here's a quick analysis of what your Chucks say about you:

Black Low Tops

This style says "I'm edgy, but safe." You're not trying to make a a huge statement with these. I feel like actor's playing the role of "typical, non-special, average dude", they rock these suckers. These are my Chuck of choice.





Black High Tops

These high tops say "I'm still kinda safe, but I'm making more of a statement." These are a little more hipster friendly, especially if you wear thick rimmed glasses (usually non prescription) and like old school and/or British Hip Hop. Worn with skinny jeans or shorts for the full "high top" effect.



Boots

Unless you are a girl in a punk band or a 12 year old girl who shops strictly at Hot Topic, don't wear these. Even then, I'll still look at you and think "This person makes bad decisions". These shoes say "I want people to think I'm weird but my Mommy and Daddy said I can't tattoo my face til I'm 16 :'( "  Obviously if Mandy Moore was wearing them, they would be the hottest thing ever, but besides that, please don't. (See previous Mandy Moore blog). If you're a guy and you own these, you deserve every weird look you get while wearing them, but let's be real, that's probably what you're going for.

Colored

I can't afford a different pair of shoes for every color I wear, but if you can, DO IT. Not only is matching your kicks with your clothes beyond "fresh-to-death" status, but it looks super cool and organized. This maneuver can earn you about +5-10 Street Cred, and you can never have enough of that.* DISCLAIMER*: Do not mix colors unless you're Punky Brewster. *DISCLAIMER ON THE PREVIOUS DISCLAIMER*: You are not Punky Brewster. Don't do it.

So there you have it kiddies, some completely irrational analysis of what your Chucks say about you. I think we all learned alot of valuable information here. I love Chuck Taylors and so should you. Get some. DO IT NOW.

If you didn't laugh when you saw this picture, this blog is CLEARLY not for you.