What Your Halloween Costume Says About You

Happy Halloween to you too little ghosty man! I love Halloween! It's the one holiday where I'm allowed to dress like an idiot and act like an idiot. Granted I do that all year round but on Halloween everyone's ok with it. SCORE. Halloween has been an awesome time for me every year, but I can't help but realize that what you choose as your Halloween costume says ALOT about who you are. Now let's hop on to Ms. Frizzle's Magic School Bus and learn something!

Really? You trust your kid to go on field trips with a crazy lady who's best friend is a lizard? Really?

A Spartan Warrior

Thanks, whoever made this movie, for giving meat heads another reason to take their shirts off. This costume is saying "Yes! Now I don't have to wait til summer to show girls how jacked I am!" Cool story bro.

Childhood Character

I might be a little biased because this was my costume last year, but these kinds of costumes are the most fun. You go out for the night thinking "I'm going to be as fun and crazy as I want because I'm already dressed like an idiot." Some of you who saw me out last year might be thinking "Yeah, but Dean you looked like an ADORABLE idiot!"...ok you're probably not thinking that but maybe someone, somewhere is thinking that? Maybe? I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME!!!!!! *tears* *sniffles* Ok sorry about that. Moving on! This is even more awesome when girls choose this route. Have you ever seen a cute (not slutty) Ninja Turtle? I have, and it's the greatest thing EVER.

Slutty Version of an Every Day Trade or Occupation

Listen, ladies, there is a fine line between "cute and hot" and "I'm an amateur hooker with no morals and values who is really desperate for attention". Yes, every guy is expecting you to look good, and we'd all be kind of disappointed if cute girls put sheets over their heads and went out as Casper, but let's at least pretend you have some kind of morals, even if you don't. 

The "Not" Costume

YOU ARE LAME AND NOT FUN AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. At least wear a mask or something! It's the one night where you can do what you want. STOP BEING A LAME FUN SUCKER. 

Pirates or Ninjas

Pirates and ninjas are more popluar than ever, and what better time than Halloween to pick your side?! Pirates say "ARGH" and shoot cannons and steal booty. Ninjas creep up on people and kill them with swords, NUMCHUCKS (or nunchucks if you like pronouncing words correctly), and throwing stars. It's a tough choice, but they're both awesome.

Zombies

If you don't love zombies, or maybe just love the idea of them, I don't know what's wrong with you. They're alive! But dead! But alive! BUT DEAD BUT ALIVE BUT DEAD AND THEY'RE DEAD BUT THEY'RE LIVING AND THEY'RE DEAD AND THEY EAT HUMAN FLESH! (om nom nom) Andddddddddddd they're awesome. The zombie costume takes little effort but always gets positive results. Definitely a winner in my book. ALIVE DEAD ALIVE NOM NOM!

Thank you Jess Gomes for the blog topic suggestion and to everyone going out, have a blast! Happy Halloween everyone! And to all the kids who's parents are making them go to the hospital to scan their candy for needles and rufilin before they eat it, your life sucks and I feel terrible for you. That is the WORST. Alright, CUTE HALLOWEEN ANIMAL!

AHOY I'm precious.

What Their Texts Really Mean aka Fun With Pie Charts

Texting is the greatest and worst thing to enter the world. It's quick and convenient but also the most insincere, indirect, and easily misinterpreted form of communication possible. I LOVE IT. I'm a socialite. I'm addicted to human interaction. I can talk to anyone about anything for hours and texting allows me to do that without taking away from my other duties and responsibilities. As a semi-professional texter (I just made that up) I am qualified to tell you guys the deeper meaning behind texts you're receiving. I'm also going to abnuse pie charts because I think they're fun.

There's no reason to extend your words that long unless you're being sketchy.

The "..." implies that there's more to be said than what's being said. It symbolizes that the thought isn't complete. IT'S REALLY ANNOYING. JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO!!!

Ah, the one word text. Not only is this one word, but it also says "I heard what you said and I acknowledge that it was meant to be humorous but I literally have nothing to say to you"

Nothing makes an innocent sentence look suggestive and inappropriate like a wink face. Example:

"I saw your sister yesterday" versus "I saw your sister yesterday ;)"

Not cool, bro.

There's no reason to ask this unless there's one specific person you're trying to avoid, like an ex or someone who texts you "Heyyyyyyyyyy" all the time. Not only that, but my presence should be enough and I'm sad that you need other people's company to make this worthwhile.

Really? You're SO busy you couldn't take 8 seconds to send a text? Really? Realllllllly? Come on.

This is the quickest and easiest way to tell me you're brain operates on a substandard level. If you text like this, I don't want to talk to you. Ever. Even in real life. Stop it. 

Hopefully this gives you some insight into what people are really telling you or made you laugh because it's kinda true. Either way, check out the puppies!!!!!!

HE'S NOMMING HIS FLABBERJABBER! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT IT'S ADORABLE