Monday 13 February 2012

Some Valentine's Day Encouragement


It's ok crying girl. We all feel ya. 

Let's set the tone for this blog with a few quick translations:

"I hate Valentine's Day" = I want a boyfriend/girlfriend

"Another Valentine's Day alone..." = Keep me away from sharp objects and large quantities of prescription medication.

"Can't wait to spend the day with my love!" = HAHA YOU'RE LONELY AND I'M NOT :P

"Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday" = For some reason I think a greeting card company has the power to create national holidays.


You either love Valentine's Day because you're with someone you care about or you hate it because you're not. Orrrrrrrrrrr there are about 10% of us who really don't give a crap and are gonna make the most of it. I can celebrate love even if I'm not IN LOVE, so me and some close friends are gonna dress up and look awesome and have a fun night together instead of me taking my significant other out to dinner because she'll dump me if I don't. KAAAAAAABOOM.

I'm sure there are a few guys who will legitimately be sad that they aren't with someone, but this next part is mainly FOR THE SINGLE LADIES. This is why you should be happy on Valentine's day:

1. Being Single Means You Aren't With A Guy Who's a Big Jerk
Am I right or am I right?! If you feel lonely, think of the worst, most miserable couple you know of and be happy that you are NOT in that relationship. Yeahhhhh buddy.

2. Justin Bieber Loves You

You're welcome.

3. You Can Be MY Valentine!
Lucky you, right?! Due to the high demand on ME, we're gonna have to handle this all Glen Beck-style and allow me to have multiple Valentines (POUNDSIGNMORMONJOKE) but that doesn't mean you're any less special to me! For the low cost of $1/One Doll Hair, I will text you tomorrow and say "Happy Valentine's Day Beautiful! I'm the luckiest guy alive :)". How freakin' cute is that?! What a BARGAIN.



Ok let's be real, if you really are depressed about Valentine's Day, none of the things I just said are gonna help, but maybe this will: Don't let another person's existence in your life determine your ability to be happy. Male or female, single or taken, you're an awesome person capable of awesome things in life, and God loves you and shows it more than any human Valentine ever could. (happy tears). So, with that being said, Happy Valentine's Day everyone, and celebrate love because it's awesomely awesome.

Also, kiss a stranger on the mouth. They'll get over it and you'll have a great story to tell. And make it look something like this:

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's a llama kissing a deer. Yup. Mhmm.

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